Postman Pat joins SDS
by Super Fanfic Entertainment
Summary: For British fans of my work! I love Postman Pat but I can't stand the Special Delivery Service series mainly because I think Postman Pat acts out of character in it. In this parody, I describe what might happen if Postman Pat joined SDS retaining his personality from the first two seasons of the show. Warning : Not for SDS fans! Featuring huge disasters!


**Postman Pat Joins SDS**

 **A Postman Pat fanfic. A little something for British viewers! If I have Americans or people in NTSC regions here, you might has well hit the back key now, as most of you probably don't know who Postman Pat is.**

 **As a very young child, I loved Postman Pat and I still have memories of me watching the VHS tapes of him over and over. Living in Scotland, for some reason I seemed to even really like watching him in Scottish Gaelic on TV, despite not knowing how to speak the language. (I was an odd child.)**

 **But sadly the bastards over at the BBC have ruined him. I actually liked the 2003 series on him. I admit it wasn't as good as the first two series and did have its flaws, but it was still enjoyable. But SDS is where the shit really hit the fan.**

 **I along with many other fans can't stand Postman Pat, Special Delivery Service. SDS for short. I could probably forgive that it's repetitive. But am I the only one who thinks Postman Pat acts completely out of character in it? In the first two series Pat had difficulty using roller skates and hated a ride in a bumpy tractor. So just how can he ride a motorbike and learn out to operate a loud helicopter with no problem?**

 **So in this parody, let's find out what would happen if Pat joined SDS if he kept with his character in the first two seasons.**

One morning. In the Greendale post office. Mrs Goggins had just finished a telephone call over at the SDS office in Pencaster. Postman Pat entered that morning to deliver the mail.

"I'll make sure Pat receives the message when he comes in." Mrs Goggins said on the phone.

Mrs Goggins hung up the phone and turned to face Pat who she hadn't noticed walking in.

"Good morning!" Pat cheered. "Who was on the phone?"

"Pat, I have some very good news!" Mrs Goggins smiled. "You have been promoted by the Special Delivery Service."

Pat was a little confused. "The Special What?"

"The Special Delivery Service. They have been so impressed by your work and were wondering if you could attend the headquarters on Sunday for training. And if interested you could take a job in the Special Delivery Service."

"I'll be there." Pat responded.

When Sunday rolled around. Pat travelled to Pencaster to the Special Delivery Service headquarters.

Ben was already out waiting for him. If Pat accepted the offer, he would be his new boss. Pat parked his red van.

Ben smiled at seeing Pat. "Ah….Patrick Clifton! So nice to meet you. I've heard all about you. If you could come with me. I'll introduce you to SDS."

Pat walked in and sat in a chair in the meeting room. After showing him a video on a television about what the goals of SDS were. Huge deliveries made as fast as possible through great vehicles. Pat was just confused whether to take the job or not.

"So what do you think?" Ben flicked a switch on a remote and turned the television off.

Pat struggled to find words. "I don't know…I'm not sure if this is really the job for me."

"Why do you say that?" Ben asked.

Pat shook his head. "The video asks all employees to be able to ride motorbikes and ride helicopters. I can't do either of these. Do I look like a hardcore biker to you? I can't even use roller skates right."

Ben put his hand to his chest. "Pat. I believe in you. Everybody thinks you're a great postman and friend to all!"

"That doesn't mean I'm a great biker!" Pat responded.

"We'll put you in training. I know with lots of training, we'll make you the best SDS postman ever!"

Pat was still unsure. Ben then took Pat to a part of the training room. It was a huge empty room which looked like an empty gym. The only thing present was a motorcycle. Ben and Pat walked up to it.

"Give it a try." Ben insisted.

Pat had some training using a normal bike as a child but never finished it. Maybe he could finish his training now.

"Well all right, but I'll go real slow." Said a nervous Pat.

"Take all the time you need. Train till you're perfect." Ben smiled.

Pat got on the motorbike and started it up. Immediately the bike threw itself forward without Pat on it. The motorbike crashed into the wall and made a huge hole in the wall. It drove by itself on the roads and screams were heard from outside. Pat lay on the floor slightly in pain and shocked.

Ben stared at the hole in the wall shocked. He then looked at Pat who was also shocked.

"Are you alright?" He asked Pat.

"I think so." Pat just stared blankly at the ceiling.

"We'll just skip to helicopter training." Ben said still believing in Pat.

Ben then led Pat to the helicopter outside the headquarters. Pat and Ben got in and Ben started up the helicopter. They flew a short distance away from the headquarters.

Ben flying the helicopter then turned to Pat. "Like to give it a shot?"

Pat thought it over. "Hmmmmm…..alright!"

Pat took the controls of the helicopter. Biggest mistake ever. The helicopter then shot off flying. It then made three loop the loops in the air making Pat and Ben incredibly dizzy.

"Take control again!" Pat shouted to Ben.

"Forget that!" Ben felt sick. "Get the parachutes and jump out! Wait 3 seconds then pull the cord!"

Pat and Ben grabbed parachutes and jumped out of the helicopter. They luckily got to the ground safely. Afterwards Ben and Pat watched as the helicopter turned right around made a few circles in the air and crashed into the SDS headquarters.

KABOOOM!

There was a huge explosion and the SDS building went up into flames. Pat and Ben watched with their mouths dropped.

"I'll call the fire department." Pat said to Ben.

Pat obviously hadn't gotten the job. Later on at home he sat at home around the dining table with his wife Sara, his son Julian and of course his cat Jess.

"It's a miracle nobody was hurt." Postman Pat was holding a cup of tea and was all shook up.

"You got to try a motorbike and ride in a helicopter." Julian smiled. "That's pretty cool."

"I would have got more than that. In time I would have controlled a jet plane."

Sara frowned. "A helicopter, a jet plane and a motorbike? To deliver mail? How absurd! What's next do they have a tank, a rocket and a submarine to deliver mail?"

Pat turned to Sara. "Good guess. Ben says it's a miracle that the tank managed to survive good damage. Plus according to the video, there's a SDS office in Wales with a submarine and what look to be a UFO."

Sara shook her head.

"You say the motorbike flew off and drove by itself?" Julian asked.

"Right." Postman Pat replied.

"Where do you suppose it is now?" asked Julian.

PC Selby was watching television when suddenly he heard a loud crash from outside. He and his daughter Lucy jumped up in fright.

PC Selby and Lucy ran outside when suddenly he noticed a crashed motorbike in the back of his police car.

"What in the world!?" Selby said shocked.

Selby then looked at the back of the motorbike. There were words where the license plate should have been that read "Property of SDS."

Selby looked around for the driver who obviously was nowhere in sight.

"Regardless! The Special Delivery Service are gonna get it!" PC Selby snarled in anger.

 **The end.**


End file.
